Canoeing the Grand

I live in Southern Ontario, in Canada for those keeping track, and there is a river called the Grand that runs through a large section of this part of the province. You would think with a name like 'the Grand' it would be rival the Amazon and Mississippi both in ferocity and length however it pales in comparison to either of those legendary waterways. Still it's a decent sized river and growing up we had this running tradition of canoeing the Grand River. There is a company that lets you drive to selected parts of the river, provide you with a canoe and let you paddle to another launch area where you disembark and are shuttled back to your car.
Ordinarily this would be considered a pretty fun family activity however on this fateful day things would be different for my family. Let me give you the run down of the characters involved in this epic yarn. Me: Cast in the leading role is none of than yours truly. The only child of two only children so you do the math on how often I was the centre of attention...not that it went to my head or anything. Another tidbit key to this retelling: my parents divorced when I was a baby. I don't tell you that for sympathy and you'll soon learn why.
Dad: The leader of the group, whether some of the other characters will admit this or not doesn't make it any less true. At this age Dad and I are attached at the hip and if you can picture the geeky side-kick to the action hero then you just pictured the two of us. Moving along...
Ape: Not a primate but the loving nickname for my Dad's girlfriend (later to become his wife and my step-mom). Ape had been around for several years at this point and had come to the realization that this group was crazy. What it says about her that she stayed around is either a testament to her character or speaks to her own insanity...
Nan: The matriarch of our little clan. Nan is the caretaker of the group and dotes after her only Grandson. On this occasion Nan had packed a delicious lunch as the total trip was several kilometres and would take several hours to complete.
Pop: the eldest of the group and the crusty old man character...except for real.
We divided up when we arrived at our launch and Dad, Ape, and I took the first canoe (I was young and sat in the middle mostly screwing around while the other two did the work) and Nan and Pop in the second canoe.
I'll skip right to the juicy part because the first hour or two consisted of just paddling and sightseeing. Once we had gotten a little deeper into our adventure however we came to a section of the river where the current picked up and I hesitate to use the word 'rapids' but a section that was far more difficult to tackle that the easy current we has passed through upstream. The three of us in the first canoe managed to make it through the rapids just fine but Nan and Pop, upon nearly making it through tipped their canoe.
Now here's what happened if you can try and picture this. Nan is in the front of the canoe and Pop is in the back. The rapids had caused the canoe to tip side-to-side a little bit and this startled my Nan. She shouted out and Pop, who believes it's a sin to let cooler heads prevail, begins to bark orders like a General on the front lines. This only causes my Nan to panic further and here is where she makes the pivotal error, she tries to jump. Those of you with canoeing experience know that jumping from a canoe is not a great idea. Now mix in a fast moving river and two seniors and you've got yourself something worth of remembrance.
Anyway, Nan tries to leap from the canoe...this somehow seems like a good idea at the time. Was it better to get wet by her own choice than have the canoe tip her out instead? I don't have the answer but all we here is cursing and then some splashing. By the time the three of us turn around two things happen within seconds of seeing the sight. The first, my Dad and I erupt into a fit of laughter. The second, Ape shouts out her concern for Nan and Pop.
As Pop cursing between mouthfulls of river water they manage to grab the canoe and move it toward the shore where we meet them. As tears of laughter stream from my eyes I notice something floating down the rive, the current carrying it farther and farther away, the Tupperware containing our lunches! We actually managed to resuce the contain, and thanks to it's patented seal, it saved out lunch!
Nothing but time however would save the comfort of dry clothes for Nan and Pop or the pyschological trauma of tipping a canoe. Ape decided it was probably best to ride with Pop the rest of the way, Nan joined Dad and I. I find that this story, like wine or whiskey, get's better and more enjoyable with age. What ridiculous stories/adventures do you and your family have?