Top Ten Things You Won't Do Before You Die

Here's a list of things you will (probably) never get to do before you die and should probably want to. Now before you read this please don't go trying all these things, they could be hazardous to your health.

1. Blow up the Death Star. I mean seriously this is a massive space station the size of the moon and is completely invincible save for a 2 metre access hole that is buried in a kilometre deep trench guarded by turrets, TIE fighters and Darth Vader, who doesn't to stick up their middle finger and score one for the Rebellion?
2. Destroy the One Ring. I promise the whole list won't be nerdy but this probably doesn't even require explanation right? Right.
3. Rock a stadium, whatever your music preference you can't deny you have imagined winning over a crowd of tens of thousands by coming on for just one more encore after the audience chants your name.
4. Scoring the winning goal to win the Gold Medal in the olympics, this just beat out the winning the Superbowl scenario but remember I'm Canadian so hockey has to take the cake on this one. And Sidney if you're reading this you are more than welcome to prove this list wrong eh?
5. Slap the pope in the face, I'm insinuating I want to do this but that has got to be difficult no? And you would totally go to Hell to that, one way ticket baby!
6. Shoot at bad guys while hanging out of the window of a speeding car. "Now drive, drive, drive!!"
7. Reach your full potential, OK I admit I did put this on the list to challenge you but seriously there is a commanding percentage of the population of which this applies.
8. Fly down that one street in San Francisco in the movies where the cars always go so fast and go airbourne a bunch of times. Imagine yourself in a restored '75 Camaro SS or a Lambourghini Murcielago as you put the accelerator to the floor.
9. Be able to do the things that the Dog Whisperer does to your dog all the time, seriously. If you have seen that show you know what I mean, if you haven't you should, very entertaining.
10. Survive the Zompocalypse. The statistical probability that many of you will survive the Zompocalypse is very low. This is exception of course to your following of my Z-Day guide which I posted last summer and of course if you happen to be lucky enough to be in the band of fighters organized by myself.

P.S. Feel free to say 'I totally did that dude...' but be prepared to prove it!

Back from the Dead

Fearless Reader,

It has been a long time, a very long time. I'm back from the dead, so it seems, but not as a zombie. No sir. It's still me, warm blood, blue eyes and all. I can't really say what has dragged me back after what we both probably considered a permanent hiatus. I guess it turns out that I need you Fearless Reader, I'm not sure why but there is a burning desire in me to continue what we started. So old friend let's pick up where we left off...

I need to admit that I wanted this to be over, I wanted to believe that I wasn't good enough and that I didn't need to do this but as time went by I came to see that maybe neither of those things are true.

Post a comment, friends new and old. Let me know you're out there. Wandering around in a world full of zombies is a difficult thing, we fellow survivors need to know the other is there. I'm back Fearless Reader and I hope to be improved and more secure now that I've returned. I wanted to bring you the best in me and perhaps maybe you'll show me the best in you too. It's been a long time comin'.

Stay frosty zombie hunters,

C. Mudge